The type of bike you ride says a lot about you. Like the skinny jeans you rock on Friday nights, a bike is an extension of your personality. We don’t need to look to the stars or read the tea leaves to know what it means if you’re the type of guy who has a Yamaha R1 in the garage. The bike you ride tells the story of your personality. Check it!
You think you have a need for speed like Maverick in Top Gun, but really you just like flashy colors… particularly neon red and green. There’s a good chance you have a borderline unhealthy relationship with Japanese culture, especially Yakuza and old school anime. The latter has prevented you from having a serious girlfriend, but it doesn’t matter anyway because there’s no room for her on the back of your MV Agusta F4111. All that crotch rocketing has led to serious chaffing. Still, you’re fast and furious, yet more furious these days… what’s with the lack of girlfriend and all the chaffing.
You think you’re Born to be Wild, a Son of Anarchy, but you’re really just closing in on a midlife crisis. Still, you like to think of yourself as tough. You like to play darts and you’re considering joining a Thursday night pool league. You still call it a jukebox even though jukeboxes have been obsolete for twenty years… unless of course you’re hanging out at bars that have darts and Thursday night pool leagues, where everyone looks like Keith Richards.
Your friends… they all call you Joe Dirt. You used to hate this. You thought it was judgmental… a stereotype. But now you embrace your inner redneck. You watch NASCAR and go skeet shooting. You use phrases like cased, block pass, goon riding, and other motorcross lingo in every day conversation.
You live in the past. Chances are you collect vinyl and old Atari consoles, frequent antique stores, and design something artisanal, say, light bulbs or root beer. You work at a trendy coffee shop in Brooklyn and moonlight as an environmental activist on weekends. Your vintage bike of choice is the Star Bolt, and your dream is to cruise around Rome with a woman who looks like Audrey Hepburn.
So, what kind of street biker are you?