What’s the origin of the Bro Code? Urban Dictionary defines the bro code “a set of rules meant to be a guideline to live by between bro’s. The rules began as unwritten rules but because of the *pussification* of the world haven’t been followed properly and therefore needed to be spelled out in bold print.” Damn, that’s harsh!
Another story claims the all mighty Bro-in-the-Sky handed down a stone tablet (or was it a cocktail napkin?) to all his little Broses. LOL!
And yet another dates the Bro Code back to 1776 and has something to do with George Washington and Benjamin Franklin drinking in a Philadelphia bar, Franklin accusing Washington of codpiece blocking, and, well, those are fightin’ words. Some other founding father had to step in and draw up some codes and rules.
If you find yourself bunkered down with your bros for a week, you gotta’, in the words of “The Dude”…abide by our Bro Code. Here they are:
1. You’re always allowed to do something stupid as long as your bros are doing it too. It doesn’t matter if it’s streaking midday or doing cannonballs off the roof into the shallow end of a swimming pool.
2. You will only comment on another bro’s fashion choice if said comment will positively affect the bro’s ability to get (fill in the blank).
3. Never drink the last beer.
4. Never use the phrase “Yolo” in conversation.
5. Never make eye contact with a bro while peeling and eating a banana – classic bro code, boys. Ahem!
6. A bro never rearranges the dishes at another bro’s house, or puts the dishes in the dishwasher, or offers to wash the dishes. In fact, bros use paper plates (perfect for greasy pizza), unless they’re eating nachos and dip, in which case they use paper bowls. Paper rules!
7. Everything said in a house in which you and your bros are locked down (for whatever reason – rainy Spring Break, WWIII, pandemic +++) is subject to bro-to-bro confidentiality.
8. Amongst bros, there’s no such thing as the silent treatment.
9. You never change another bro’s music. If you want to hear something different, you get psyched and say, “Dude! Have you ever this band before?”
10. And finally, you can say whatever you want to a bro but never call him a “brother from another mother”. That’s just way too weird… not to mention, grossly overused!
Believe us, bruddah! Follow these 10 codes and you and your bros will make it out of that bunker alive!