Ssswwaatt!!!! Look ma, I squashed one! Can we do something about these Apple fanboys, for good now, please? Boy, they’re all over the place. Like Amazonian fire ants! They’re playing with their iPhones on the subway, eagerly awaiting the next iOS update, gladly reminiscing over their experiences playing the Oregon Trail on their Macintosh in elementary school, re-reading that Steve Jobs biography until the pages are all tattered and worn. “Ubiquitous” is the right word for them. These fanboys seem to regenerate like Terminators – every time there’s one new piece of Apple technology that comes out, BAM! They’re right back out there, whistling in the woods about the brand.
Well, these Apple fanboys might be a bit overeager … but you know what? To think of it, they’re probably … you know, right to be so ‘gaga’ to one company’s products. We’d love to knock Apple’s stuff, and man, do they make some extraordinarily awesome products. Plus, they’re completely idiot-proof. You have to work really, really hard to get something made from Apple not to work – like dunking your iPad in a vat full of jelly or tossing your iPod out the window of a speeding car. Umm, that might get them to slow down a little (oh hey, even a cracked screen is a fashion statement these days). Strutting around with Apple’s stuff is also uber fashionable (but please, not like Marilyn Manson, okay?). There’s none of the clunkiness and harshness that other similar products typically throw out; all of Apple’s products are made with those smooth, clean curves with raw, appealing colors and nice touches. It’s calming just to look at them. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to have one big cloud to share all of our files and music and media from one system to another. You have to wonder why every other company in the world can’t be this efficient and smart. Mate, we likey!
Oh, and using Apple is just … well, necessary. There’s really no way we could live without the music that’s on our iTunes or that Simpsons game on the iPad or the ability to talk and surf and text that we get with the iPhone. So, we’re going to go the “if you can’t beat them, join them” route with Apple. We’re begrudgingly going to enlist as interim members of the Apple fanboy army, at least until something better comes along. We’re all in for investing in that fruit company, just like Forrest Gump did. We’re going to drop dollars and pick up a MacBook for use at home, and convince our company to upgrade us to a big Mac desktop for work. We’re picking up an iPad for those subway travels and an iPod to rock some Skrillex when we’re out running. Hey, we’ll even pick up that Steve Jobs biography and go see that biopic of him starring Ashton Kutcher. If that won’t make us part of the Apple Army, we don’t know what will. Ttteeeeennn HUTTT!
Credits: We’ve just about had enough of these guys, man! Or, have we? © 1808 Photography